


The Super Sekrit Diary of Kuwabara Honinbou

by Aoyagi (Kagetsukai)



Category: Hikaru no Go
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-06 02:21:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18841663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kagetsukai/pseuds/Aoyagi
Summary: I week in a life of one Kuwabara Honinbou, but funnier.





	The Super Sekrit Diary of Kuwabara Honinbou

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another one of my oldies (2005) but goodies. Copied over from Livejournal.

MONDAY

Woke up refreshed today. Tried calling Ogata-kun to invite him for an early breakfast, but his phone was off. Ungrateful whippersnapper. Went to Go Association instead and had tea with Shinoda. Discussed world politics and Japanese schooling system’s superiority over the Korean one. Shinoda is v. nice man.

Whippersnapper decided to show up after lunch break. Wanted to give him a piece of my mind for not answering my calls, but took pity on him: he looked v. haggard. Changed tactics and tried to cheer him up with the news that police caught yet another pedophile. Oddly, Ogata-kun paled and quickly walked away. V. interesting.

TUESDAY

Had game with Kurata whatshisname-kun. That snotty hooligan said he’ll claim my Honinbou title. Made sure to distract him with my scary tactics of doom. Worked v. well: he lost by 5 moku. Next time he’ll know not to mess with Kuwabara Honinbou. Yes, Honinbou.

Saw Ogata-kun drag Akira-kun out of the Association building while mumbling something about new suits. He looked v. demented. Better not try anything or Akiko-san will kill him.

WEDNESDAY

Had a day off. Spent a relaxing day at the spa checking out the v. nice and v. hot attendants and getting massaged in places that normally don’t get touched. Heheee... Wonder why they won’t let me book appointments more often than once a month. V. strange.

Got a late-night phone call from Ogata-kun. Whippersnapper has no respect for other people’s sleep schedules. Could’ve been busy with something. Or somebody. Hehehee...

Anyway. Got to hear a lot about Tokugawa, his glistening black skin and a shining toilet. No clue what that meant, but it sounded v. hysterical. Wonder if Ogata-kun took too much Viagra and it impaired his brain. Or he could be gay. There’s no way for a samurai to be still alive or have black skin. And samurai didn’t have glowing toilets. Ignorant whippersnapper. Must educate him or he won’t be Meijin until his next life. Or ever.

THURSDAY

Tried educating Ogata-kun but he kept running away, for some odd reason. Ungrateful whippersnapper. He must have a forbidden male lover that he’s hiding. Wonder if Ogata-kun is a catcher...

Came across Shindou-kun. Saw him through the window of an Internet café. Didn’t know that hooligan could be hip enough to operate at such places. Asked him to show me how to ‘work it.’ Oddly, he seemed v. distressed at the choice of my interests. What a young ‘un. Can’t tell when a man is doing research for the benefit of another.

FRIDAY

Sent lots and lots of emails to Ogata-kun. He will appreciate my thoughtfulness on the topic. Wonder if the leather and chains materials I sent were to his liking or if whips would’ve been better. Tried asking, but that whippersnapper quickly walked away without acknowledging me. What an ungrateful hooligan.

Went back to the café. Lady there was nice and gave me free tea. Told her a joke in return. Don’t think she appreciated it.

Young people these days. They don’t know what’s good for them anymore. In my days you listened to everything your elders said and did what you were told. Hmph.

SATURDAY

Witnessed a v. interesting thing today: Ogata-kun was pinning Hikaru-kun to a wall while muttering v. passionately. Pointed Inoue-san in that direction since he was there to look for new material. Maybe there will be an exciting new article in Monday’s Go Weekly.

Turned the wrong way while walking down the hall and accidentally went by the insei playing their practice games. Ran into a couple and intimidated them with my Scary Glare From Under Bushy Eyebrows(TM). Worked v. well, they all called me Honinbo-sama. Must do that more often. Like hearing the name v. much.

SUNDAY

Finally caught Ogata-kun! He looked extremely surprised and lost. Used my ‘sick’ skills to make him feel better. Wonder if he will go to that bondage club I found on the Internet. He should. He definitely has some unresolved issues with himself.

Had a free afternoon so went to visit Kamizono-san. What a grumpy old geezer. Doesn’t he know he won’t get any female attention with such attitude? Doesn’t seem to care either. Huffed at me to stay out of his business.

Not sure what’s going on with that young apprentice of his. Maybe Kamizono-san is gay too? Can’t tell. Must get one of those gay radars I keep hearing about. I wonder how much those cos


End file.
